Last Man, Last Woman
by an entitled millenial
Summary: After an accident in Princess Bubblegum's lab, Finn is horrifically hospitalized. After taking off Finn's bandages PB, Marceline, and Jake find themselves in a life changing situation. Warning: contains Yuri and gender bending.
1. Chapter 1

Last man, last woman

An Adventure Time fanfic by Ole Merrill

 **Adventure time is the property of Cartoon Network. This is a nonprofit story.**

 **1**

Finn laid there on the mahogany floor, with a face of absolute boredom. For the past days, there have been no calls to adventure. There were no monsters to slay, princesses to save, armies to fight, not even a sound from Ice King. Jake, the elastic Pug then stepped with a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream in hand.

"Hey Finn, you ok?" he asked. "I'm frickin bored man" he responded. "We can play with BIMO" recommended Jake. "We've beatin all the games" Finn said, "I'm hungry for adventure, but there's no adventure around to eat, ya know what I'm saying?" "I understand dude" said Jake, "Maybe PB has something we can do".

Princess Bubblegum head rested on the table. Her eyes screamed of "workaholic, take break now!" Her bagged and bloodshot eyes made the scream louder. Beside her head was a glass of experimental emerald liquid.

In front of her was the self proclaimed vampire queen Marceline, with a face of worriment. She had asked PB a question that was nigh important to her, but PB did not know the words to answer nor did she really want to answer this question. "Bum-Bum" Marceline said, "I know this thing has been over for 8 years, but I just don't understand". "What is there to understand?" asked the Princess in a confused tone brought by hours working on the liquid next to her head. She continued, "This thing stopped because I needed time to work on my experiments". "No I understood that, Bum-Bum" Marceline cleared, "I just can't understand what you love?" Being more confused, Bubblegum asked "What do you mean?"

Bubblegum could tell that Marceline was having a hard time trying to explain what she meant. "Ok, Finn had a crush on you, right?" asked Marceline. "Yes", the princess answered, not knowing were this was going or how to feel.

"Why did you dump him?" Out of Marceline's entire question, this one made the princess very uncomfortable.

"He was too young at the time", Bubblegum answered bluntly.

"Ok, but now he's what, close to 17?" Marceline asked. "True" answered the Princess, "but I'm way too busy for a relationship in general".

Marceline face told PB that she wasn't getting all the answers. The princess started to get even more nervous. Out of nervousness came annoyance and frustration. "What right does she have to ask me these things while I'm working" she thought. She needed a red herring, something that would make Marceline uncomfortable to the point where she would want to leave, but not to the point where she would hurt her.

"Do you like Finn, Marcy?"

This question made Marceline forget about her question and more about the answer, the answer in which to explain her relationship with Finn.

Both she and Bubblegum knew that she swung the other side of the attraction scale. Her past relationship with Gumball was a profound understatement.

Marceline thought back to the time when Finn was trying to convince Bubblegum to go to the movies with him, but to no avail. Marceline had given the best advice she had about Bubblegum. She figured that her past relationship with the princess would help with Finns attempt at courtship. His attempt at courtship must have failed, for he decided to want to go out with Marceline.

Finn was a really sweat kid, but he was a bit dim. For this reason Marceline did not want to explain that he and she were not compatible, he just couldn't understand that sometimes birds and the bees just doesn't mean a boy bird and a girl bird come together to love.

In other words, Finn saw the world in black and white. Black was Black, White was White, A is A. There was no room for any shades of grey in Finns world. Both her and Bubblegum believed that A was A, but in a different manner. For example, Dead is Dead, Love is Love, Straight is Straight and Queer is Queer.

Yet despite this, Marceline thought that they would have made a great couple, if Finn was a girl that is, but for now it was simply a platonic friendship.

But then even if Finn were a girl, one glaring problem would also arise. This problem did not just affect her and Finn, but also Bubblegum as well. The princess was over 300 years old, and Marceline herself was a 1000 years older. Minus Bubble gum's stress from ruling a nation and being a scientist, she and Marceline could have worked out well.

Finn on the other hand was a December while both of the girls were May. Marceline and Bubblegum had already accepted the fact that Finn was going to grow old and die someday, pain and sadness ensuing. Yes it was undeniably true that great emotional angst and sadness would come from a death of a friend, but if it were greater than just friendship then it would be even more painful not just for the two girls but Finn as well.

And thus Marceline knew it all and so did Bubblegum. Her answer to Bubblegum was simply this, "Were just friends".

Before Marceline could say anything, the laboratory door swung open. As it opened two familiar loud noise screamed "PB", it was Finn and Jake. Marceline turned around to see the boy and his dog. Their faces ready for excitement and adventure. The loud yell for the Princess startled the sleep deprived girl herself as she screamed and fell over her chair. Her legs knocked over the table, causing the vial of emerald liquid to catapult itself into the air. The potion flew through the room like a war rocket until it landed on Finn.

The Princess arose from her fall by a scream. Not a scream of excitement, but of pain, horrid acidic pain. The first thing the Princess saw of Finn was pain. "Oh no" she muttered. Finn's skin was of light crimson red and a bubbly like substance emitting from his skin. Marceline scrambled to find some water or some other remedy to silence the ear shattering scream. "MY SKIN, MY BODY" Finn shouted. His voice was distorted in a pattern of high and low pitches. Jake the dog looked in horror at the sight of his long time friend and soul brother in the worst shape he's probably ever been. Jake then elongated his arms to grab Finn, but as his appendages made contact with him the acidic liquid which covered him burned and stung Jake. He made a quasi-dog whimper as his appendages retreated back to his body.

Marceline zipped towards Bubblegum as she was back upright. "BUM BUM, DO You HAVE WATER IN HERE" Marceline shouted at her in panic, to which she answered "In the cupboard near my Tesla pod". The vampire zipped towards the cupboard and opened it in a rushing hurry. She spotted a large jug of water, just as Bubblegum said. She grabbed it and floated toward Finn who was now on the floor still screaming, his skin started to get worse, his nose and mouth bleeding. "MY ORGANS" he screamed his last scream before Marceline splattered the water all over him.

The three standing in the room walked towards Finn's comatose body. Marceline gasped at the indescribable sight of Finn's body, which was a grotesque parody of what it once was. She slowly turned her head to Jake and Marceline with a face of horror. "We need to take him to the Hospital stat "she said.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

A sheet covered gurney crashed through the metal door. Under the covers of the sheet, was a screaming wreck of an individual. To be precise, it was the wreck of Finn, Oom's greatest champion. Besides the gurney were Princess Bubblegum, Marceline, and Dr Princess. They were like Valkyrie's, carrying a fallen hero to a safe paradise. But this was only an analogy, as the three ladies knew. When they entered the handpicked hospital room, it was no paradise, not even for the sick. Paradise or not, however a room was a room, and a hospital was a hospital.

They set the gurney besides Finns hospital bed. The three carefully lifted Finns unconscious body and gently sat it upon the bed. Jake then entered the room. The look of his face was like everyone else's, worriment.

"What's the news on Finn"? Asked Jake

His pulse seems normal" stated Dr. Princess, "but we just need to know if his insides are ok". Nurses and assistant entered the room; most of them were Gumdrop people. The Doctor lifted the sheets revealing the bandaged Finn. Finns screams slowly started to fade away. "He stopped screaming, does that mean he's ok" Asked Jake. "Only one way to find out, nurse I need you to get the patient to the X ray machine" ordered Dr. Princess to a random purple Gumdrop nurse. The nurse lifted the bed to the x ray machine which was hidden by a blue curtain. Dr Princess and along with 6 of her assistants soon went behind the curtain. Her head popped out of the curtain. "When we have results, I will show you 3 what I and my assistants discovered" she said. "Ok Doctor" answered Bubblegum. The Doctor's head descended behind the curtain.

Marceline turned to Bubblegum. "PB, what was in that veil to put Finn in a lot of pain?"

"For two days straight I was working on a formula to aid the neighboring Kitsune kingdom" said Bubblegum, "They were having a population crisis".

"Population crisis" Marceline questioned, "Like what kind PB?" Bubblegum then explained, "Well you see, the Kitsune live in a matriarchal society, so it is the females who are the warriors".

"And?" commented Marceline. "In recent times, The Kitsune we're in this war against their neighbors, the Lillipadens * and hundreds of their warriors lost their lives" Bubblegum finished explaining.

Marceline then figured out what Bubblegum was trying to say. "So because of this war, there are more guys then girls" She said.

"Correct" said Bubblegum.

"And what was that veil going to do?"

"It is designed to switch whoever consumes it gender, so far I don't know if it works on other life forms or not."

"So is that why…this happened to Finn?" asked Jake.

"I am not entirely sure, that potion I created was the only one I made and I haven't had time to buy any more lab mice to test it with."

Dr. Princess then stepped out of the curtain with a face of relief. "I have good news". As the group heard this, there faces shifted also to relief.

"Is he going to be Ok?" asked Jake

"His vital organs seemed to have healed up perfectly and are fully functional" the Doctor Monarch answered.

"So is that an ok?" asked Jake again.

"Yes it is, but he can't leave the hospital just yet, my assistants and I have also taken the liberty to examine his skin which was severely scarred, so I am afraid we'll have to give him surgery"

*Lillipadens are a race that I created. There name is a portmanteau of lilipad and the liliputens from Johnathon Swifts _Gulliver's Travels_. As the name implies they are basically small humanoids lillipads who live in ponds. 

**And the organ music plays…..**

 **So what did you think of this second installment?** **Comments and or criticisms, about grammar, characterization, story structure, plot, and or themes are very much welcome.**

 **I may or may not be on a hopefully not long hiatus depending on college.**

 **I am also in need of a beta reader, so message me if you would like to volunteer.**

 **Bye!**


	3. Chapter 3

Last man, Last woman

 **3**

Jake sat on the living room couch of the tree house, with nothing but a depressed manner. A week had passed since the incident at Bubble gum's laboratory. He has not heard from Dr. Princess about the progress of Finns Surgery, nor has he heard anything from Bubblegum or Marceline.

For him, a week without Finn was joyless, not helped by the lack of adventures. The lack of news from the doctor brought on worriment on the health of Finn. The sight of his friend in horrid pain at the lab stills wavers in his mind. These thoughts became nightmares that woke him up during the dead of night, forcing him pray to Gob every night to ease the nightmares.

In came BIMO, with a screen that mimicked a face of sincere worriment over a friend. "Jake, are you still worried about Finn" said the sentient handheld device. "Everyday feels empty; I know that sounds totally cliché but is the truth nothing is the same without Finn" he responded.

"Have you heard anything about the surgery "BIMO asked. "Non, zero, nada" said Jake.

"What about Bubblegum and Marceline"?

"Not even them"

"Maybe you should go talk to them" BIMO stated bluntly.

"Talk to them" repeated Jake, "about what?"

"Well, maybe you could ask them if they want to check up at Finn, maybe the Doctor has made some progress"

Jake then gout up from the couch and simply answered "Sure, better then moping around here".

"Maybe Finn is getting better", Jake thought as a small but not insignicant sense of optimism grew out. "Everything will be alright" he repeatedly said in his mind for the sake cheering up. He walked towards the door and jumped out the tree house.

 **So sorry for the incredibly short chapter, I have had difficulties brainstorming this story and this chapter, along with other factors such as real life. But I promise to make it up with a longer chapter, which I don't when ill be posting, but don't threat this story isn't dying, it's just moving slowly. I would also like to announce that I might be starting some non-Adventure Time stories, just to fill out the profile and add some variety in my Bibliography so to speak.**

 **Until then, goodbye.**


	4. Chapter 4

Last Man, Last Woman

Chapter 4

 **Bubblegum's Laboratory**

"Careful, Careful" mutter Bubblegum as she gently dripped a small pint of liquid from a green vile into a blue one. The blue liquid in the vile turned red and began to bubble. She grabbed the vile and walked to a table that had a toad nested on a large bowl. She spilled the liquid on the toad. After that she examined to see any signs of acidic pain, like what happened to Finn. Nothing is all that she got. She grabbed the notebook and took notes.

 _No Signs of toxic chemical anomaly. The toad seemed relatively painless. Still trying understanding why the formula affected Finn this way. The Kitsune people of the southern areas have not messaged me about any such incidents of pain. Perhaps it was something to do with their biological functions that such spontaneous chemical reactions didn't happened?_

Marceline, who was in the corner of the lab, floated towards the princess, "Anything, Bum Bum's?" she asked.

Bubblegum put down the notebook and turned to Marceline. "Nothing happened, not even a hint of pain from the toad" she said.

Then the banging of the castle doors emitted through the castle and into the lab.

"I'll get it" said Marceline, who then floated through the window of the lab and flew down to the front of the castle to see Jake who turned to meet her.

"What is it Jake" she asked with a small exhausted tone. She and bubblegum worked for weeks to understand Finns situation. Vampires usually don't get tired so easily, or at least physically, mentally however could just as happen.

"Doc P hasn't said anything to me about Finn" Jake said/

"Neither has she said anything to us" said Marceline, "maybe she's working very hard as Bub's and I have"

"Ya, speaking of that" Jake exclaimed, "How have you and PB been Doing?"

Marceline answered with a sigh before answering. "We found nothing". Blunt was this statement, but it was appropriate enough.

A red bird then dropped a sheet of paper on Jakes head. The dog grabbed it and read it aloud for Marceline to hear.

 _Dear Friends, I have good news, no surgery was required for Finn. My assistants check through the X rays, Finn has completely healed and ready to check out of my castle._

 _Doctor Princess._

A Moment of genuine happiness soon appeared of Jakes face. "It's a miracle, thank you Gob" muttered Jake with a joyful tone.

Marceline noticed Jakes growing smile and asked. "What is-".

Jake in a burst of happiness interrupted Marceline. "IT'S A MIRACLE, MARCY, FINNS HEALED". Jake yelled as he began to bounce and skip like a giddy child.


	5. Chapter 5

Last Man, Last woman

5

The land of the peep eaters, 500 miles from Candy kingdom

The City of Romuva was silent, and this silence was not a normal thing in the capital of the Peep Eater Principality. The streets were once filled with joyful cacophony of peep-lettes, the singing of Bakers, and the acting thespians. Now, this town might as well have been part of ghost kingdom.

However, there was one place where there was still noise. In the city square was the Princess's palace, once shining in its entire glory, now laid ransacked and vandalized. The sound was not of singing or laughter of citizens, but of the slow and eerie chanting of the conquerors, The Knights of Baltia.

On the front of the palace stood 4 green faced figures clad in armor draped with white robes with the icon of their order, a two headed falcon with a sword on its left talon. All four had long hair, while the one in the center embroiled a long and wide mustache that reached to the tip of his ears.

In the center of the city square, Knights in grey armor and squared helmets with wings stood with their iron gloves grasping the handles of their sword and there blades laid face forward on the cobblestone ground. The knights gazed at 5 purple humanoids tied to a stake. The one in center, faced so that she may face the mustachioed individual, wore tattered royal regalia.

Then a robed priest walked towards her chanting psalms and prayers in a dead language.

A second robed priest came, this time with a lit torch. The faces of the peep eaters sweated in fear of their impending fate.

"Princess, do ye and thy associates wish to give up thee heathenry of ye ways?" the mustachioed leader questioned.

"Never" said the Princess, for she would rather die then submit to such zealots as these.

"So be it" said the Marshal. He pointed to the torch holding priest and gave his word.

"Burn them, may the great one have mercy on their rotten souls".

And as the steak lit up, the Princess and her associates, in dignity, held on to their pain, hoping that Gob would save her Kingdom, while the Marshal stood there with a spiteful face.

Then a smaller, cloak wearing green man ran towards him with a paper in hand.

"My liege, Grand Master Arnehdt has gotten word that the Candy Kingdom's greatest champion is incapacitated" said the messenger.

"Yes, what of it?" stated the Marschal. He too had gotten word that the great Adventurer would no longer be much of a hassle.

"He has finally ordered a Crusade against the Candy Kingdom" The messenger answered.

The Marshal gave a smile of joy to his comrades next to him who intern smiled back.

"Paladin Livonia?" the Marshal spoke to the female commander on his left.

"Yes my lord?" she said.

"Tell the men that we leave for the Candy Kingdom in 5 days, the Heresy protected by that "champion" shall no longer be a threat to our cleansing."

 **A short chapter introducing one of the OC villains of this story, who I based off from the real life Teutonic Knights of Medieval times who destroyed the last strand of Paganism in Europe in the 13** **th** **century. The Peep eaters are also a creation of mine.**


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